Taylor Swift is one of the most polarising artists of our time. One minute everyone loves her and can't get enough of her. The next they're crtiicising her and saying her music is trash.
The tabloids are at it again this week now that she has released the lead single, Me! off her seventh, yet to be named album. She teamed up with Panic at the Disco's Brendon Urie.
The general gist is that Taylor's new single isn't up to her usual standard and that she's sold herself short. She's also been accused of writing for teenagers.
Firstly, even if she has written for teenagers how is that a bad thing and why are people talking negatively about her for writing for teenagers? Are teenagers not allowed opinions? Do their feelings not matter? Why are people looking down on teenagers? If we're not teenagers now then most of us were teenagers once and I don't know about you but when I was a teenager I was all about the crushes on the boys and I was all about the love and romance. I was the type of girl who wrote boys notes in primary school, intermediate and high school. There were so many crushes and crushes are fun.
I'm getting a little sidetracked here. Anyway, back to Taylor Swift's song. I've seen some commentary that the lyrics are lame and that it's a break up song. That's not at all how I interpret it. Now call me an optimist and a believer in love but I reckon it's a song about being crazy about someone and even though they have faults you just want to be with them.
This is clear in the lines:
"And you're the kind of guy the ladies want" and "you're the only one of you."
It's also about how nobody will ever like someone as much as you. Again, this is evidenced in the lines, "I promise that you'll never find another like....." and "I never wanna see you walk away."
I'm truly dumbfounded as to how anyone can think this is a break up song. If anything it's a song about how no relationship is perfect but how no matter what happens you want to make it work.
That sort of brings me to my next point which is about relationships in general. I have a lot of friends who are always worried about getting hurt and worried that a relationship won't pan out. You know what I have to say to that? What if it DOES work? What if you do get your happy ending? What if you're not alone in your feelings? As a character in the TV show Friends once said, it only has to happen once. You only need to have a relationship work once, and as Rachel said in Series 5, "people love being told when someone loves them." Rachel had blind faith that she should tell Ross how she felt. Of course he didn't reciprocate (until later on and then she "got off the plane" in the series finale in season 10), but has anyone ever been rude when someone shows their heart? The answer is no because even if they don't feel the same, they're still going to appreciate it. They'll appreciate it because it takes bravery and courage to put your heart on the line.
People shouldn't be so cynical about relationships. They should trust that things will work. Why do people always expect the worst? Why not expect the best? What if the best DOES happen? What if you do get what you want?
I'm gonna leave you with this thought: you've gotta be in it to win it. It only needs to work out once. In a world of 7 billion people, how could it NOT work out once? How could people not find love? It's all around us if you really believe in it and again, as the TV show Friends says, "it only has to work once."
Saturday, April 27, 2019
Sunday, April 21, 2019
Delete dating apps and become the person you want to date
Isn't it a fascinating concept? People actually sign up to dating websites or dating apps searching for love. They basically have a sign on their foreheads saying, "hey I'm desperate, love me, love me. I need love.'
In what world did it become okay to do things so unnaturally? When did people stop having the faith that things would happen organically? Why did they stop believing that love would come into their life at exactly the right time?
I don't want to sound all new age but surely, love will come into your life when it's the right time and surely love will come into your life when, as cliched as it sounds you stop looking for it and become happy in who you are.
So what does that actually look like? Well, being happy in who you are means you can take it either way. It means that you're honestly okay if you're single forever or if you end up meeting The One.
Of course, that's easier said than done but here's the thing about people who are comfortable in themselves. They have their own interests. They have their own life. They have a great job. They're happy in themselves. They're not worried about whether or not someone else loves them because they love themselves. That's not to say they're egotistical. It just means they have self respect and that they know what they want.
Now I'm sure that everyone can relate to having dated a lot of incompatible people on dating sites and apps. There'll be the ones where you just have no connection, the one where you feel something but there's that niggling self doubt (more about that later), the ones who lie to you and string you along like a puppet. There'll be the ones who are insanely into you but who you don't feel the same way about. Now, I don't like the quote TV shows, actually that's a lie, I do. There's a couple of episodes of How I Met Your Mother where Ted is so close to giving up on love.
In season 4's episode, As fast as she can, Ted is destitute and so fed up. He has recently bumped into Stella who says to him, she's getting there as fast as she can. Ted being Ted he acknowledges that comment but he doesn't really believe it.
Then in season 8 he dates the last ever woman before he meets The Mother. The last ever woman was Jeanette Peterson who was mentally unhinged. I'm sure we've all dated someone who is mentally unhinged. Interestingly he says after she's chucked his stuff out of the apartment that he's done with dating and that he's ready to settle down.
Within a few months he then met The Mother.
To quote Ted Mosby, before you can attract love into your life, you have to become the person you would want to date. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else and before anyone else can love you. It could be that like Ted you scream at the universe that you're done with dating or that you're sick of being disrespected and want more. Or it could be that you follow some other path.
In other words the basic essence of this blog is that you can't go out searching for love. You have to let it find you, and it will find you. At the right time. When you're ready for it and often when you've given up and you're certain it's not out there. If love was easy to find we simply wouldn't value it. It comes into our lives when we will value it and when we won't take it for granted. It's like that movie, How to lose a guy in ten days with Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey. There's a quote early on in the movie that diamonds are valued because they're scarce. If love was around every corner it wouldn't be valued because it would be just like a bus. There'd be another in five minutes, but it's not like that. It could be months or years between loves.
But one other thing is for sure. It's not on dating apps and nor should it be.. It's so unnatural and fake when you think about it. People post a few pictures of themselves and a short bio with info they want the world to see. That's not how you find love. That's how you attract other desperate people.
The best way to find love is to love yourself and to be genuinely happy in yourself. It's to have your own life and to not need someone else to share it with. When you're in that place you'll effectively be a complete person and that is so much more attractive than someone who is seeking love.
So please, delete Tinder and other apps. They're just fake. You can't find true love on apps. It exists where you least expect it and it will come along when you least expect it. You just have to shift it out of your mind and not need it.
It sounds counter intuitive but it just can't be forced and that's what dating apps do. They try and force it. It's not a genuine connection. Genuine connections are found elsewhere. And when you do find a genuine connection there won't be any self doubt. As cryptic as it sounds you'll just know. You'll just feel it. It will be different to anything you've ever experienced before. You have to let it happen naturally.
In what world did it become okay to do things so unnaturally? When did people stop having the faith that things would happen organically? Why did they stop believing that love would come into their life at exactly the right time?
I don't want to sound all new age but surely, love will come into your life when it's the right time and surely love will come into your life when, as cliched as it sounds you stop looking for it and become happy in who you are.
So what does that actually look like? Well, being happy in who you are means you can take it either way. It means that you're honestly okay if you're single forever or if you end up meeting The One.
Of course, that's easier said than done but here's the thing about people who are comfortable in themselves. They have their own interests. They have their own life. They have a great job. They're happy in themselves. They're not worried about whether or not someone else loves them because they love themselves. That's not to say they're egotistical. It just means they have self respect and that they know what they want.
Now I'm sure that everyone can relate to having dated a lot of incompatible people on dating sites and apps. There'll be the ones where you just have no connection, the one where you feel something but there's that niggling self doubt (more about that later), the ones who lie to you and string you along like a puppet. There'll be the ones who are insanely into you but who you don't feel the same way about. Now, I don't like the quote TV shows, actually that's a lie, I do. There's a couple of episodes of How I Met Your Mother where Ted is so close to giving up on love.
In season 4's episode, As fast as she can, Ted is destitute and so fed up. He has recently bumped into Stella who says to him, she's getting there as fast as she can. Ted being Ted he acknowledges that comment but he doesn't really believe it.
Then in season 8 he dates the last ever woman before he meets The Mother. The last ever woman was Jeanette Peterson who was mentally unhinged. I'm sure we've all dated someone who is mentally unhinged. Interestingly he says after she's chucked his stuff out of the apartment that he's done with dating and that he's ready to settle down.
Within a few months he then met The Mother.
To quote Ted Mosby, before you can attract love into your life, you have to become the person you would want to date. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else and before anyone else can love you. It could be that like Ted you scream at the universe that you're done with dating or that you're sick of being disrespected and want more. Or it could be that you follow some other path.
In other words the basic essence of this blog is that you can't go out searching for love. You have to let it find you, and it will find you. At the right time. When you're ready for it and often when you've given up and you're certain it's not out there. If love was easy to find we simply wouldn't value it. It comes into our lives when we will value it and when we won't take it for granted. It's like that movie, How to lose a guy in ten days with Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey. There's a quote early on in the movie that diamonds are valued because they're scarce. If love was around every corner it wouldn't be valued because it would be just like a bus. There'd be another in five minutes, but it's not like that. It could be months or years between loves.
But one other thing is for sure. It's not on dating apps and nor should it be.. It's so unnatural and fake when you think about it. People post a few pictures of themselves and a short bio with info they want the world to see. That's not how you find love. That's how you attract other desperate people.
The best way to find love is to love yourself and to be genuinely happy in yourself. It's to have your own life and to not need someone else to share it with. When you're in that place you'll effectively be a complete person and that is so much more attractive than someone who is seeking love.
So please, delete Tinder and other apps. They're just fake. You can't find true love on apps. It exists where you least expect it and it will come along when you least expect it. You just have to shift it out of your mind and not need it.
It sounds counter intuitive but it just can't be forced and that's what dating apps do. They try and force it. It's not a genuine connection. Genuine connections are found elsewhere. And when you do find a genuine connection there won't be any self doubt. As cryptic as it sounds you'll just know. You'll just feel it. It will be different to anything you've ever experienced before. You have to let it happen naturally.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)