Tinder is dangerous, please be careful re: Warriena Wright's murder

You might recall a few months ago I blogged that I didn't want to know about the Baden Clay murder trial and that I thought there was too much mainstream media coverage.  There has been a recent case which has me absolutely hooked.  That is the murder of New Zealand tourist Warriena Wright who was tragically killed a week ago by Gable Tostee.  The week following her plunge from the 14th floor of a Gold Coast apartment complex was centred around Tostee as he was the last person to see her alive.  The two had met on Tinder and then gone back to his apartment.  It is not yet known if he pushed her, but before he was charged with murder the mainstream media reported that Tostee had posted on body building forums that he liked balcony sex.

Wright, a church going animal rights activist had met Tostee on Tinder, a mobile phone dating app which allows users to click a green heart or a red x.  If the feeling is mutual both parties can message eachother.

Up until this week I hadn't used Tinder but I must admit that on Thursday I was a bit curious so I created a profile, which actually just linked to my Facebook, so it's very simple.  Within less than an hour of using the app I had two hot, but sleazy guys message me asking if I wanted hot sex and if they could see my pussy.  This isn't a sugar coated or exaggerated version of events.  It's actually what happened.  I quickly told them to go to a brothel.  Tinder is a very sleazy dating app.  It's basically a mobile version of a bar, except you're sober and you don't have a conversation of "how are you?", "what do you do?" etc, it's straight to "wanna fuck?" 

I am NOT at all justifying what happened to Wright because I'm actually rather angry at the way guys think they can sleaze around and take advantage of women, but anyone who uses Tinder and goes back to the apartment of someone they meet on the site is asking for trouble.  I've used dating sites in the past myself.  I normally meet in public places.  One time though, back in 2006 I didn't.  The guy came to my house and picked me up, then we went back to his place for wine and to watch a movie.  Of course one thing led to another, long story short, I agreed to a lot of sexual stuff but there was one thing I didn't agree to, so when he was sleeping I bolted and went to the police with a friend the next day.  The police spoke to him but as I agreed to most things there was nothing further they could do, and that's okay.  The point of sharing this story is that anyone who goes back to the apartment of someone they meet on Tinder is asking for trouble, and that's the closest I've come to a bad situation.  Thinking back I was exceptionally lucky but I'd always had an escape route figured out in my head.

Women shouldn't use Tinder.  By using Tinder and having casual sex with guys (and when I was 18 I had a lot of casual sex) all they're doing is enforcing the message that women are nothing more than sex objects that men can take advantage of and then spit out.  And men should know better than to proposition women they barely even know.  It's different when it's a one night stand from a nightclub and you've had a conversation - don't ask me how because there is no rational explanation, it just is.  I guess it's because there is the possibility of something more happening when you connect on a spiritual or intellectual level.  That happened for me in October, the feeling wasn't reciprocated though.  Ah well, you win some you lose some.

Today it was revealed that Tostee suffered from autism, hated rejection and had severe confidence issues.  The case reminds me a lot of the Elliott case.  Tostee and Weatherston have similar personality traits in that they both wanted to be in control and couldn't handle when they didn't get the world given to them at their fingertips.  In Weatherston's case, he stabbed Sophie Elliott 256 times until her body was mutilated.  In Tostee's case it was either a sex act gone wrong or he pushed her off the balcony (he had said previously that he liked balcony sex).  Either way, the man is guilty.

Let this be a lesson that Tinder is dangerous and anyone who uses it is asking for trouble.  It's just not worth it.  Of course random hook ups can be fun, but people need to be more careful.  Just because the internet is common these days and used by everyone doesn't actually make it safer.  If anything it makes it more dangerous.  It was safer back in 2004 but now you get a whole bunch of weirdos using it to hide who they really are for sinister purposes.

And please, before you meet anyone from the internet think twice and really make sure you know them first.  I've met a few people from online but normally it is in public, at parties or after months of conversations.